7 Attitudes of Mindfulness: How NON-JUDGMENT will make you a better friend and beach volleyball partner.
Mindfulness Attitude #2: Non-Judging
Lately, I’ve been really thinking about MINDSET. It’s a common saying that beach volleyball is 90% mental, 10% physical - but how do we work on the mental part of the game? A really important way I work on that part of my game is MINDSET practice. Bonus - is it also a fool-proof way to have a more positive week! Mindset practice looks like: reading about, journaling about, meditating on and creating some self-awareness about your thoughts every day. Fun fact, you CAN change the way you think, and another fun fact, it WILL change your life!
There are 7 Key Attitudes of MINDSET. In the last blog, we talked about mindfulness attitude #1: a beginner’s mind. If you missed it, you can check it out here! This week, I’m focusing on cultivating an attitude of non-judgment. The natural state of the mind is categorization - it helps us stay organized, form connections, and understand the world around us. It also causes us to judge the world around us by categorizing things as positive or negative - positive things tend to lead us to remember those experiences more and negative remind us to avoid things. Judgment is a natural part of being human. Non-judgment is the act of being an unbiased attentive witness to your own experience as it happens in the present moment. To do this requires that you begin to relate to the contents of experience, without judgment, as the present moment unfolds. The habit of categorizing and judging experience locks you into patterns of reacting and repeating thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
While judgment is a natural part of being human, without awareness it can lead to a negative outlook on life. No one feels good feeling judged, and usually, we don’t feel good about ourselves when we realize we have judged someone else based on our own experiences and feelings, or when we have mindlessly judged ourselves because we had a negative experience. That’s why practicing an attitude of non-judging can help create mindfulness, gratitude, and positivity.
Read below to find:
Benefits of non-judgmental thinking.
How to practice this mindset and improve your mental state.
How to apply it to volleyball to help you have more mental toughness.
Journal question reflection prompts for you to work on post-practice.
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Benefits of non-judgment:
Increased positivity towards others. Judging others less = accepting them more for who they are and where they’re at in life.
Feeling better about yourself. Judging yourself less = accepting yourself more.
Learning opportunities. Pre-judging people or situations creates an attitude of ‘already knowing’ - which leaves you less open to learning.
How do you practice non-judging?
Pay attention to your language. Judgment language usually reveals a positive or negative evaluation of a situation. Switching your language to observational language can change the way you feel - the biggest difference being the EMOTIONAL TONE of the language. Judgment language creates an uncomfortable emotional tone because judgment involves making evaluations, observational language is emotionally neutral and is making more of a ‘report’ versus a comparison. For example:
—> Judgment: I played horrible today.
—> Observation: I didn’t execute today as well as I have in the past.
—> Judgment: I’m not a good side out player.
—> Observation: I have some work to do on my side out of consistency.
—> Judgment: I’m a really impatient defender.
—> Observation: I feel good about my defense when I play more relaxed.
—> Judgment: She is more successful than me.
—> Observation: She is successful.
Stop comparing, start accepting. It is SO easy to compare yourself to others. When it comes to life or volleyball - nothing will make you more unhappy than this practice. How to stop? When you notice that you are comparing yourself to others, take a minute to appreciate things in your own life. For example:
—> Comparison: She looks so much better in a bikini than me.
—> Appreciation: I appreciate that my body is strong enough to exercise.
—> Comparison: He has a way more successful career.
—> Appreciation: I am thankful my health allows me to work and provide for myself.
Stop DOING, start BEING. Judging = DOING something. Practice allowing yourself to just be, and see what happens! How do you practice this?
Journaling - spend some time reflecting on what judgments you made throughout the day (journal prompts listed below!)
Meditating - find somewhere quiet (in nature if you can!) to sit and just BE. Try to draw awareness to a need to DO - thinking about what you need to do in the future or should’ve done in the past is DOING. Whenever you are aware of this, breathe, and accept yourself for a few minutes in a state of letting things be as they are.
Ways to practice NON-JUDGEMENT on the court.
Accept personal responsibility. Next time you step on the court, follow this mantra: What’s something in my control that I can do to make my team better? Repeat this to yourself after every play, drill, or practice.
Stop judging your opponents. Remember that one time you didn’t think the other team was going to be very good, and then you lost to them? Remember that one time you thought you had NO CHANCE of being the other team, so you didn’t even try? What would happen if you dropped your evaluation of the other team, and showed up to play for yourself instead of based on them?
Stop judging your partner. The next opportunity you have to play or practice, instead of worrying about winning or losing, play a different game - see how good you can make your partner. What can you do during play to empower your partner to SHINE? How did it change the way you experienced that practice or game?
Stop judging yourself. Next time you play or practice, spend the practice practicing not volleyball, but problem-solving. You can’t always control your game - some days you’re on, some days you’re off. What happens if you can’t set well today, and it’s causing your team to struggle? Instead of wasting time judging yourself for and getting frustrated with your setting, how can you SOLVE THE PROBLEM. The problem is your setting - what if you handset instead of bump? How are your back sets? What if you just plan on that your partner will send a really tough free ball instead of trying to fight the set and send a fluffy attack? What if you two-ball instead of trying to go on 3? There are so many SOLUTIONS that you won’t ever find if you get stuck in judgment!
Journal questions
In what ways did I judge others today? How can I change this mindset to observation?
What way did I judge myself today? How can I change this mindset to observation?
What’s one situation where I made a judgment that I was wrong about? How could I go about this differently if I could go back and do it again?
